Dear Daddy...

Dear Daddy,

I like you so much that I wish I could give you a big bar of chocolate for Father's day! (Mr. Baseball)

Thank you for Daddy. Daddy plays with me. Wrestles me. He take me to the baseball field. (Monkey)

I like that Dad plays baseball with me! (both!)

Love,

Mr. Baseball and Monkey



A Little Interview About Dad:
(mostly answers from Mr. Baseball with a few from the Monkey thrown in)

How old is Daddy?
100 years old

Where was Daddy Born?
Las Vegas (Mr. Monkey said in the water!)

What's Daddy Favorite Food?
Lemon juice

What does Daddy like to do?
Play baseball

What's Daddy job?
To play with me - Monkey
To work at Ohio University- Mr. Baseball

Does Daddy like sports?
Yes.
I love Baseball with him- MB

What's his favorite?
Basketball -Mr. Baseball
He love football -Monkey

What does Daddy do around the house?
He cleans the house.

What time does Daddy go to bed?
Really late- MB
In the dark time- Mon.

Thanks for being the best Dad ever! Happy Father's Day. And to Papa and Grandpa, we love you both. Lets play soon!

Yes, Master....

Master of the Universe

Master of English

I did it, er, give or take a few papers I've got to grade, that is. I am now a Master of English.
Thank you. Thank you. You're too kind. Really, thank you. Have a S'more.

For a number of reasons (not the least of which was the 50$ gown rental fee I would have had to pay) I chose not to "walk" on Friday afternoon (other reasons include a desire to hold off on all the pomp and circumstance until I'm actually done with my PhD, as well my acute aversion to stuffy convocation centers full of uncomfortable, sweaty people fanning themselves with programs and wishing that the speaker would cut to the chase).

Instead I spent the day packing boxes and playing with the boys. We took a bike ride with Mr. Baseball's new trail-behind (a recent acquisition from a stranger in Columbus. Long story short we walked in to a Dick's Sporting Goods in Columbus on Monday and because the store didn't carry trail-behind bicycles the sales clerk offered us his old one for free. "My boy is fourteen and we're done with it," said the man (his name was Phil). He offered to bring it to the store parking lot after his shift and we accepted. "Just pay it forward," is all he said. Nice guy. Very Nice. Thank you Phil).

Because we are moving in a little over six weeks, and because I'll be teaching every day during the last five of those weeks, this was our week for summer fun. Monday we went to the zoo. Tuesday night we went camping at Lake Hope State Park. Thursday we had a friend over for dinner and a discussion with the missionaries. Friday we went to another BBQ. And Saturday, hmmm... Saturday is a blur. I seem to remember riding our bikes to the store and forgetting our food at the bike rack on our way out and not realizing our error until we were all the way home).

Here are some pictures from the past week or so...


The zoo was a big hit. We got half-price tickets because we used a park-and-ride near the zoo and took the bus in.

We had chicken salad sandwiches and chocolate cake for lunch. Thanks again, Leo, for the chocolate cake.




Poor Monkey spent so much time at the zoo trying to catch up with the longer-legged members of the family. He did great.



The first time we've ridden the bus together since living in Japan. Nuts. What's wrong with this country that public transit isn't more practical?


95-year-old carousel = Big smiles from the boys.




It was cooler at the zoo than we expected, which meant the animals were out in droves-none of this lying around in the shade looking like helpless captives resigned to eating dietary biscuits for the rest of their lives. The monkeys were swinging, the bears were pacing, even the snakes were up to greet us when we stopped by the reptile hall.



I imagine that 50 degrees or 100 degrees, these guys don't look much different. But they were cool. The sign said that no one knew how old they were because they keep outliving all the researchers that have studied them.



Everyone was pooped by the afternoon so we caught the 3:30pm bus back to the park-n-ride. And it's a good thing we did, or we would have missed Phil at the sporting goods store.


We camped in a small cabin at Lake Hope State Park in the Zaleski National forest. We had foil dinners at night and pancakes and sausage in the morning, took the boys swimming in the Lake, played on the playground, and ate too many S'mores, as evidenced by the Monkey's alternating episodes of throwing up and diarehea that lasted most of tuesday night. It got the point that I was sleeping beside him with a plastic cup and a flashlight ready to hop up and keep him from throwing up all over himself again. All in all, it was a fun trip.


One problem with last-minute camping is that you tend to forget things--like a pancake flipper. Oh well. We had had most everything else.








Our Saturday afternoon bike ride brought us to Mr. Baseball's school. we played tag on the playground and ate some chocolate covered raisins before heading home.

So I've got this student who is a photographer

and I agreed to sit in as a formal portrait subject for one of his assignments. Then he let the family come in for a few shots.






Fun. fun. fun. And the boys even managed to hold still and not break anything.

Thoughts on Marriage and Divorce

So, Groooover is getting hitched to Muskrat Love lady Em Gillz and I am sooooooo happy for them and it's got me thinking about, talking about, dreaming about marriage and pairing off and why we do it and what it means in general. I was sitting in the office today talking with Grover and another friend, Jen, about marriage and divorce and choosing and sticking with it and the conversation moved to a discussion of how couples go about choosing to stay married once real life starts and later in an email Jen sent me this:

Joey,
It just hit me...aren't your parents the ones who used the phrase "starter marriage"? I was just thinking about how you told Grover that once you get married that's it, there's just the one. Not that I don't agree with you on that though. But I was also thinking of the idea of "starter marriage" and realized that that's sort of what I had, it's just that the "starter marriage" where you make all the mistakes and the "real marriage" are to the same person for me, but really, we're different people from how we were when we first started going out or when we got married or even last year for that matter.

and I wrote back to said friend with the following:

My parents had "starter marriages" but they weren't intentional, and they definitely don't recommend it. Both relationships were emotionally abusive and they were good to leave (at least I'm glad they did, because if they hadn't, I wouldn't be here). My declaration that "once you get married, that's it" assumed a certain level of emotional readiness, preparation, and maturity on the part of the couple involved. And, it was actually more directed in response to Grover's comment about not wanting to know what else is out there, now that he'd found Emily. There is a myth, particularly in Mormon culture, that we each have a soul mate (i.e. that one person we are "supposed" to marry). Note that I said myth. The idea of sticking out a marriage reflects council I have heard about choosing a spouse--i.e. there are a lot of people in the world that we are compatible with, but that once we choose one and get married, they become "that one," meaning we should work through the challenges of marriage and not look outward when things get tough.

I have heard people say that a starter marriage is a good idea, but I think that's a load of garbage. Either marriage should be for good, or you shouldn't do it (abuse, crazy spouses, neglect, etc. aside). What you described about you and your husband is what I think every married couple that stays married must realize. i.e. we all change. Melissa and I are definitely not the same people we were seven years ago, and we would be miserable if we both lived with that expectation.

I like your idea of the "starter marriage," and "real marriage" being with the same person. I think Mel and I had that too. We "started" with perhaps an ambitious misconception about who we were and what we wanted, and as who we are changes, our "starter" marriage has revised itself into a more nuanced, interesting, fulfilling, if perhaps less idyllic, relationship. Maybe its like a "rough draft" marriage and a "final draft Marriage." Ooh, I like that. We don't throw out the rough draft and start over, we work on it, and polish it and change it, and let it take us where it wants to go.

Question: How does one submit a marriage for publication?

Answer:

Today in brief.

I started out the day with a mop in my hand, and ended the day with a mop in my hand.

Six A.M. Woke up and sneaked downstairs to get dressed and do some complex cleaning. Hadn't made it halfway down the stairs before I heard Mr. Baseball and the Monkey clumsy out of their rooms in the door-banging-I'm-awake-and-I-want-you-to-know-about-it way that makes the QB pull a pillow over her head, especially before 7 a.m.

Put the boys in front of a movie ( I know, a movie at 6 in the morning! But I had work to do and the QB needed to stay in bed a little longer if she was going to have any hope of making it through the day sane) and I went across the parking lot to mop the laundry room etc.

Came back at seven and cleaned house a little. Turned the movie off. The QB woke up and made cream of wheat with cinnamon and nutmeg while I got showered and helped boys get dressed. I graded one and a half papers. We ate. We sang a song and prayed. Monkey and I took Mr. Baseball to the bus stop while QB went for a walk.

The Monkey and I picked up the missionaries and drove them to Chillicothe and back again. Made it back to Athens in time to pick Mr. Baseball up from kindergarten. The QB met us half way walking.

Drove me to school.

Taught class at noon. Talked about generating thesis ideas and finding sources and told at least one lame joke. Got online with the students and talked via chatroom with an OU librarian. In front of entire class typed to the librarian that my students were lame because only one of them had ever used OU's cool librarian 24 hour chat help service. Students laughed (nervously?).

Read assignments for "History of the Essay."

Ate lunch and chatted with the QB online about our Lubbock housing situation, which is nonexistent at the moment. Lamented the fact that we had to back out of a contract (scary house proved scarier after inspection) and browsed the Lubbock MLS listings together.

"How about this one? This one? What about this? Hmmm...."

Resolved to wait until we got to Lubbock to find a house. At least that's what we're saying. Mostly resolved to keep saying, "Something will work out," until something does.

Typed to Melissa: "Something will work out." and "Love you." and "Better get back to work."

Went to Dinty's class. Spent four hours discussing, defining, and dissecting essays. Mooched 1/3 of a Skore bar off Grover (other 2/3 went to Dinty and Grover). Also half bag of Chipotle tortilla chips and guac from Liz; also several handfuls of artisan black licorice from Bob. Got a ride home again from kindly professor (Dinty), whose new car still smells like a new car, and who during class today stood up and said, "I'm going to miss you guys," and group-hugged Grover and me, in what I am sure was both a silly and sincere demonstration of his affection. Will miss him as well. Still think he reminds me of a Boy Scout Master, regardless of what four letter words he throws at me.

At home. Helped pick up house in aftermath of tornado and tornado junior who were then up in the bath, but whose toys/socks/papers were still settling in their wake. Helped two boys get cleaned, dried, and dressed. Gave hug to exhausted looking QB, who does not like Mondays.

Sat around table and had Family Home Evening lesson about the Priesthood. Looked at pictures of blessings and baptisms, and the sacrament. Told boys about the first blessing I ever gave in Japanese. The man requesting the blessing had to write down the words for me because I didn't know them in Japanese. Carried the paper around with me my entire mission and used it many times. Boys colored pictures. We sang and prayed.

Ate chocolate chips for dessert. a few handfuls each. Quicker than popcorn or brownies.

Boys went upstairs to brush teeth and select books to read. QB read with with Mr. Baseball in our room while I read with the Monkey in his room.

For the third night in a row, fell asleep in rocking chair with the Monkey's head on my shoulder. Woke up at 8:15pm. Put monkey in his bed and staggered downstairs to find QB acebooking at the computer.

Simultaneously remembered that we have one-month trial membership to Netflix. Browsed listings and landed on The Visitor, a sad, hopeful movie about tired economics professor who shows compassion for illegal immigrants squatting in his rarely-used NYC apartment. Message in short: Treatment of illegal immigrants = not fair. I concur.


After film, read reviews on Rottentomatoes.com. 90%. pretty good. One negative review called it "A character study drowning in liberal guilt." Decided it was better to drown in liberal guilt than plug ones ears with conservative denial.

Picked up house a little more. Sent the QB to bed. Took nightly complex walk.

Came home, mopped kitchen floor and cleaned kitchen Rug with stain remover. Remembered life with our Dog, who ate everything off the floor. Wondered to myself if our floors would ever stay clean for longer than a few hours.

Currently blogging instead of grading papers, or writing a lesson plan, or going to bed--three things high on my to do list.

The Monkey and I went on a digital flower hunt